How to choose a therapist (Continued from Home page.)
Therapy is a relationship; I believe that it should be an equal one, where the therapist does not function merely as a blank screen who reflects your feelings or as an authority figure who tells you what you should do in your life.
A therapist should function more as a coach who makes you aware of your behavior and the negative consequences. I also share my personal experiences to demonstrate how I solved similar problems. Most people come to therapy hoping that they can continue what they are doing but eliminate the pain. No one wants to change, but they will if the consequences become unbearable. In some ways crisis is an opportunity to make positive changes in your life.
The Telephone Interview / Questions To Ask...
Once you get to speak with someone, remember that as a consumer you have the right to interview the therapist thoroughly.
Here are some questions you should ask.
- Are you a licensed psychotherapist?
- How many years have you been practicing?
- Describe your issues and ask if they have experience helping people with these types of problems.
- What kinds of treatments do you use, and have they been proven effective for dealing with my
kind of problem or issue?
- What are your fees? (Fees are usually based on a 45- minute to 50-minute session.) Do you have
a sliding-scale?
- Do you accept insurance?
- If you feel it's important, ask about their marriage, religion or anything else you feel may influence
their approach to your problem.
About Me:
Take time to learn about Dr. Moore and the therapeutic services she provides. For 35 years, Dr. Moore has dealt with almost every human problem, from normal adolescent issues to critical mental health problems.
Common issues that can cause trouble in a relationship:
In relationships one may encounter pursuers and distancers.
In relationships one may encounter pursuers and distancers. Pursuers are individuals who have weak boundaries and define themselves in terms of others. Their sense of self is based on the other's approval. If that approval is withdrawn they become frantic in pursuit of their partner.
On the other hand, distancers have strong boundaries - even walls - and become frightened when pursued. They are afraid of being smothered or consumed by the other - losing their identity.
These roles are constantly changing but an individual has a tendency to lean toward one or the other.
Therapy can help pursuers and distancers to develop healthy boundaries where they are both protected and connected to one another other.
Some men marry women hoping they won't change, while some women marry men hoping they can change them. Ultimately both may be disappointed.
Men are typically not trained to be intimate; in fact, they are taught to hide their feelings - to "be a man" - but intimacy is something modern women need and expect. On the other hand, women do change - especially after the birth of their first child. Neither men nor women are prepared for these shifts in their relationships.
Respect is the key ingredient in preserving a relationship. In order to be intimate, you have to have a relationship based on equality. If one is dominant and the other submissive, then one becomes the controller and the other the victim. In that case, neither can be truly honest, but honesty is an component of respect and intimacy.
In the safety of a therapeutic environment, couples are encouraged to express important feelings without emotionally damaging each other.
Couples: To assess your level of intimacy (emotional, intellectual, physical, sexual, and spiritual), click below to take a short Intimacy Quiz developed by Terrence Real, a renowned expert in couples therapy: